Monday, November 8, 2010

How to be @$#%!!!

I've been noticing over the past week how much resistance I have to certain thoughts and feelings that I think are 'wrong.'  Anger is one of the biggies, and I suppose it's like that for a lot of people (particularly women). 

As I was sitting with feelings of anger yesterday and noting my resistance, the title of Toni Bernhard's book How to Be Sick came into my mind.  (I just love that title; it's both clever and poignant). I did a little flip on the title and found myself saying instead -  'How to be angry.  This is how to be angry.'  

I imagined a little alien standing in front of me, newly arrived on earth with no idea how we human beings operate.  'How to be angry?' he asked.

'This is how,' I replied, describing my 'symptoms' for him. 'You screw up the muscles in your stomach, you feel your blood racing, your face looks all pinched, your temperature rises, and you think of a person who did something to hurt you.  That's how you feel angry.'

I watch as the alien practices feeling how I'm feeling; screwing up his face and clenching his fists. 'Yes, you've got it!' I say.  'Hi 5 Alien-creature! That's how to be angry.'

Spontaneous and creative practices like these seem to cut off the blood supply to my resistance.  It's impossible to resist and judge my anger whilst simulaneously teaching an alien life-form how to feel it!  

Throughout the afternoon, as emotions and thoughts arose, I'd use the same technique.  How to be to be to be to be @$ to be to be.


  1. Yes, Emma I like your alien comparison. It reminds me that anger is learned behaviour. As children we are taught that a response to certain physical sensations is called "pain." Another set of sensations is called "pleasure." The Buddha is so clever, because he demonstrates how both are derived from the same causal pattern and like all things in this pattern both are unsatisfactory because they are impermanent and transient. Once this is understood we don't have to put up with it! Something can be done about it. You may like my latest post at dhammamangalam.blogspot which comes from timeless research into pain. (Please comment). In my own experience, I have dealt satisfactorily with migraine pain using Vipassana. I have also been reminded recently that I was well taught well many years ago by my spiritual parents, Andrew and Ros Verity how to demolish the causes of pain. (They're not even Buddhist!) Their ANDRASWISDOM or Monkey's child site with a couple of free audio and PDF downloads is linked on my site under Reality check links.(half way down on the left). The Blame and Shame and Breath Journey mp3s are very powerful. Let me know if this is helpful. May you be well, may I be well, may all beings be well. Happiness!

  2. Hi Dhamma Metta,

    glad you liked the post, and thanks for youse links, I'll check them out.




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