Monday, March 21, 2011

Self-Compassion Phrases

Hello lovely readers! 

It's been a while since I've posted, mostly because I've been busy crying. (I am confident that at the end of this financial year I will get a thank you letter from Kleenex and hopefully a free mega pack of man-sized tissues to see me through another afternoon of weeping). 

When I last posted I wrote about doing an exercise where I recorded how I was feeling and then responded with phrases of self-compassion.  This little exercise opened the flood-gates and 15 years of 'coping' has been washed away in my tears, as I allow myself to feel all grief-stricken, pissed-off and crappy at losing so much of my life to this illness.

I've been practicing saying little phrases of self-compassion to myself as I lie in bed feeling whatever feeling is present in the moment.  To help myself do this, I've been collecting and writing down phrases of compassion and kindness.  During the day, I have the list of phrases open on my laptop and while I'm resting I just open my eyes every so often and pick a phrase to repeat to myself.   

I thought I'd share this list in the hope that some readers may find it useful.  I'd love to know what your favorite self-compassion phrase is! 

Bumper list of self-compassion phrases

Yes, I’m sick – it’s difficult. 

What’s going on here?  How are you feeling?

It’s not my fault, there’s nothing I have to change.  

I never get to choose a feeling – I just get to choose how I will meet the feeling.

I’m sad that I’m sick.

I’m sad that I feel this feeling difficult.

This feeling is meant to be here, and I care about it.

How are you? I’m seeking to understand, not to change.

I’m doing the best I possibly can in this situation, a really good job.

I’m doing a great job of resting and taking care of myself.

I feel agitated, I want to ‘do stuff’ – well, that’s totally fine. It’s totally normal to feel like you want to do things when you’re sick.  I’m sure we’ll find time for you to do that later.

Even though x is happening and I feel x I choose to trust the place I am in.

I know I’m a good person because good people feel x and I feel x. Therefore I’m a good person.

It’s not my fault – it’s just happening.

I love you every way that you are, exactly as you are – and I’ll help you to be any way you want to be.

I’m here to make life better; I’m here to help.

This matters.  Whatever it is, it matters. 

(My latest portrait - I thought it suited the mood of this post!)

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