Sharon Salzberg - retreat podcasts

I've come across some podcasts of a day-long retreat with Sharon Salzberg.  

Sharon's a Buddhist meditation teacher and I really love to hear her talks becuase she sounds so down-to-earth.  I don't get the idea she's floating around on some spiritual cloud ten miles above the rest of us poor sods -  she just seems like regular folk.

Sharon has a particular interest in vipassana (insight) meditation, and Loving Kindness (metta) meditation, and leads retreats and workshops around the world. I was thrilled to see that the Insight Meditation Community of Washington's website has the audio of a day-long workshop that Sharon led in Febuary 2009. The workshop was titled "Working with Your Enemies: Finding Freedom from Hostility and Fear."

The audio includes Sharon leading a Loving Kindness meditation, a balance meditation, and doing question and answer sessions with participants. I've been listening to it over and over again over the last few days, and have really enjoyed it.  

 May you be happy :)

Introduction

Hi! Welcome to The Chronic Meditator.  Here are some links to different posts you might be interested in. 

• Meditation ideas: Simple Breath Meditation , Pain Meditation 
• My meditation experiences:  Voices in My Head, Too Wired to Meditate, Photoshop Meditation Analogy, Emasculated by Buddhism and The Guest House.
  
• Different meditation postures:  Lie back and think of...your breath.
  
• LovingKindness (metta) meditation: Stealth Metta, and Sharon Salzberg retreat podcast 
  
• Reflections on living with a chronic illness: The 1001 Things, and Fishing Without a Hook. 
• And, if you're just dying to read a rant about my mum...pop over here.

God Loves Everyone - song by Ron Sexsmith

Well, never thought I'd use the 'G' word on this blog, but this song is worth it.  Ron Sexsmith is a Canadian singer/songwriter with an enviable ability to write haunting melodies, and lyrics to match.

I just saw a live version of  'God Loves Everyone' on You Tube - and then downloaded the chords so I could bash away at it on the piano.  In a lesser song-writer this song would sound contrived, but in Ron's hands, it speaks to universal love and forgiveness. Beautiful!

If you're in need of a bit of kindness in your life - check this out.

God Loves Everyone was written in response to the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard, a gay University of Wyoming student. In one interview Ron Sexmith said, "I just remember in the heat of the moment scribbling down all the lyrics and then not really knowing if I could sing it. I was a bit worried that some people might take it the wrong way or be offended. It's been interesting to see the response, it's really gotten every response imaginable - some people have been upset, some people have thanked me. I am glad I wrote it and I'm glad we put it on [the CD]"

Below are the song's lyrics, and click here for a PDF of the guitar/piano chords.

 

God loves everyone
Like a mother loves her son
No strings at all
Unconditional
Never one to judge
Would never hold a grudge
'Bout what's been done
God loves everyone

There are no gates in heaven
Everyone gets in
Queer or straight
Souls of every faith
Hell is in our minds
Hell is in this life
But when it's gone
God takes everyone

Its love is like a womb
It’s like the air from room to room
It surrounds us all
The living and the dead
May we never lose the thread
That bound us all

The killer in his cell
The atheist as well
The pure of heart
And the wild at heart
Are all worthy of its grace
It's written in the face
Of everyone
God loves everyone

There's no need to be saved
No need to be afraid
Cause when it’s done
God takes everyone

God loves everyone

Emasculated by Buddhism - a response

This is a response to a  post from the The New Heretics blog.  The writer of the blog is a Buddhist in Bible College in the US and wrote a really thought-provoking and humourous piece called 'Emasculated By "Buddhism."'

Click on over to his piece to read the whole post (it's worth it!).  Here's part of it -

Tonight in my Sangha marked yet another in a now long-running series of dharma talks that are really just self-help books wrapped in a bit of meditation and the occasional quote from some Buddhist text. I am just sick and tired of it...I was one of two guys there, and the thing ended with about 20 middle-aged ladies crying on each other’s shoulders over how their dads were not there for them, someone was mean to them in high school, or over some marriage that fell apart. The whole thing ended in a sobbing, wet, group hug.
...
Seriously, I think there has to be more “Suck-it-up-ness” and “Deal-with-it-ness” in the practice.
...
I think this current movement of reducuing Buddhism to a non-religious self-help philosophy is sad, and that it has to go.

I read this post a few days ago and have spent a lot of time since thinking about the Heretic's points. (I'm going to ignore the bit about middle-aged ladies and focus on the essence of his piece...)

Has Buddhism in the West been reduced to little more than a self-help organisation?  Or, has Buddhism evolved to meet the needs of Western people?  Obviously, there's no clear answer to these questions, but I think it's part of a dialogue that Buddhists need to have if we are to keep this wonderful religion/psychology alive and relevent to our lives.

The New Heretics blog prompted me to re-listen to a Sounds True interview with Sharon Salzburg. Sharon is a meditation teacher who is well known for her emphasis on Loving Kindness (metta) meditation. 

 I had a chance to ask him [the Dalai Lama]  a question, so I said, "Oh your holiness, what do you think about self-hatred?" And he didn't know what I was talking about. And there was all this buzz in the room and it was really quite funny, and he said, "People like that, are they very violent?" and he said, "Is it some kind of mental disorder?" and he had no idea. And it was really quite fun, because the translators, who were westerners got very animated and were trying to explain to him how so many western people heard certain aspects of Buddhist teaching like right effort and strive on with diligence, and how those words often entered a tremendous pool of self-judgment and self-condemnation within us. It was quite instructive.

My journey with spirituality, meditation, and Buddhism is encapsulated within this quote - I was one of those people who saw everything through lense of self-judgement. I started off as a very hard-core meditator; when I was first introduced to LovingKindness meditation I thought, 'What a load of pansy nonsense this is! What use is all this lovey-dovey stuff?'  I was into Boot Camp Meditation - convinced that I had to meditate longer and better than anyone else in order to overcome my many, many (perceived) psychological problems.

I had a chronic illness, and through an unhelpful experience with a healer, I'd come to the firm opinion that I'd caused my own illness and there was something very wrong with me. I was convinced that if only I was a good enough spiritual person I could fix all my 'ishooos' and then get well. 

For a decade I was utterly lost in this delusion.  Beating myself up about being sick and weak and hopeless was the only way I knew how to relate to myself.  Occasionally I would see a friend, or counsellor, who would encourage me to 'go easy on myself.'  'Huh!' I would think, 'What good does that do?  Concentrating on my good qualities won't help... I have to concentrate on my weaknesses - and FIX THEM!' 

I remember going to see one psychologist who was a very warm, compassionate woman.  As I sat there listening to her talking gently to me I vividly remember thinking, 'I'm not paying you to be nice to me lady!  Being nice won't get me well.'

So, at this point, you're probably getting some sense of my inner life.  I knew that meditation was the path for me, but, I couldn't find a way into meditation, or any kind of spirituality, becuase I only knew of one way to react to myself - with blame and judgement. I was aware that this blame and judgement was there, but I had no tools to respond, or sit, with them. 

Last year I went to stay for a month at a Buddhist monastery near Sydney.  The Abbott running the monastary knew I wasn't well, but invited me to come anyway.  'Don't worry about participating in the work schedule, or coming to meetings...just do what you can.'  

When I arrived I got very sick and could hardly get out of bed - let alone help in the kitchen.  I spent the whole month at the monastery crying, and whenever I met with the Abbott I would burst into tears and say, 'I can't meditate.  What am I doing here?!' He would smile kindly and say, 'Don't worry.  Do what you can. Every monastery needs someone who stays in their hut all day and cries.'

Although I found the whole month extremely difficult I later realised what an extraordinary gift the Abbott had given me.  He had accepted me in his monastery exactly as I was.  He didn't demand intense meditation from me, he didn't ask that I work, and he didn't promise that he could help me get well.  All he did was accept me just as a was - which was the last thing I wanted to do.

This Abbott was like a light on the hill for me. His attitude of LovingKindness was a beacon guiding me through the dark night.  Gently, without pushing me in the slightest, he had pointed out the light to me and said 'Go that way...'  Slowly, his attitude and his teachings started to unravel the knots of judgement and self-hatred that had kept me unable to get any benefit from meditation or Buddhism. 

My other revelation was coming across the writer and teacher Tara Brach who practices, I'm sure, what many people would call Soft Buddhism, Buddhism Lite (or, I-can't-believe-it's-not-Buddhism Buddhism!)  But, for me, her teachings of Radical Acceptance have the emphasis on compassion, and psychological understanding, that I need in order to progress in my meditation.  Without the 'softness' she offers, I would not have been able to find a way in to meditation - and the door to Buddhism would have remained locked to me. 

I suppose I do practice a kind of 'watered down' Buddhism - but that doesn't mean it's an easy, feel-good Buddhism.  Radical Acceptance of constant pain and exhaustion is a hard path to follow.

Having said that, I also don't disagree with the New Heretic's post.  I'm very impatient with intellectual laziness when it comes to spirituality.  I've just spent 7 months living in Ubud, in Indonesia.  It's a small town with a growing yoga scene, and I think if I heard one more 'yoga tragic' congratulate themselves on bringing 'beautiful, healing energy to Ubud' I was going to scream. There seemed to be no comprehension that they were in a third-world country, and to pay your child's school fees.

I do think that Buddhism does need to adjust to Western values and psychology in some way in order to thrive in the West.  I doubt many people want Buddhism to morph into a religion resembling a Louise L Hay movie-of-the-week - but it is important to acknowledge that our individualistic and materialistic culture brings its own set of issues to meditation practice.

One thing I find really inspiring, is that we all have our own unique circumstances that lead us along our own spiritual paths.  The fact that I started off as a hard-core meditator and realised a much softer, kinder practice suited me more - and the New Heretics is looking for something a bit less wimpy in his practice  - shows that we all have our own, equally valid, paths to tread.  I'm hoping there's room for us all in the big wide world of Buddhism.

Good luck, and much metta, to us all!

Stephen Levine - Pain meditation

Below is a meditation by the wonderful writer, teacher and poet Stephen Levine. 

Stephen, along with his wife Ondrea, are from the USA and have devoted much of their life to working with people with terminal illness or chronic pain.  His many books and meditations focus on death, dying, illness, grief, and the spiritual journey.  If you'd like a quick and warm-hearted introduction to Stephen and Ondrea's life check out this interview on You Tube.

This is a link to Stephen's personal site, where he sells CD's and tapes of his many wonderful guided meditations. This is a link to his books. Meetings at the Edge is my favorite book of his, because each chapter is the story of a person who is dealing with some kind of loss. It's a very intimate book, and would be a great introduction to his writings (although unfortunately, it doesn't have many written meditations in it.)

The meditation below, titled 'Healing Meditation,' is from the book 'Healing into Life and Death.'  This book is chock-full of written meditations.  I've picked one I've used a lot which is specifically for physical pain, although it could also easily be used for emotional pain as well.

The meditation is quite long, but if you didn't have the energy to do it all you could read through it and break it up into chunks.  In the introduction to this meditation Stephen writes:

 "In the beginning of this practice it may be difficult to make contact with an area so long isolated by the armor of our aversions.  But it is not advisable to rush healing.  As when working with pain one approaches a step at a time, work with the meditation for ten or fifteen minutes and then take a break and go fully back to the breath for a while, softening the belly and watching breath from that softness.  Not attacking the area even in the slightest we swing back to the healing or pain meditation for whatever period feels appropriate."

In other words: take it easy! 

You can do this meditation either by reading each line to yourself, or having someone read it to you.  You could also put it on tape and play it back to yourself (or, just buy a copy from Stephen's website if you are cashed up!) 

A Healing Meditation

[To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

Come to a sitting position or whatever posture the body is a maintain for a period of time. And feel what sits here. Allow the attention to come into the body and feel the breath breathe itself in soft belly.

Let the body be soft and open. Let the awareness be gentle and allowing. Notice any area of the body which is in discomfort. Attend to the body, notice whatever distinct sensation draws the attention. Gently allow awareness to move toward the place that wants attending.

In this gentle approach toward discomfort, notice any resistance, any stiffness or numbness or coldness, any tension that denies entrance into this area. Notice whatever denial or fear limits access. Notice any fear or doubt that attempts to distract direct entrance into the discomfort.
 

Slowly, without the least force, gently allow awareness to approach the sensations generated in this area.

And begin to soften all around the sensations.
Letting the flesh soften to allow awareness within.
Softening.
Let space begin to open all about the edge of this area.
Gradually opening.
Softening all about sensation.
Softening the muscles.
Softening the tissue in which sensation arises.
Softening the muscles.
Skin soft. Flesh loosening, opening.
Allowing sensation to be as it is in soft flesh.

Feel the fibers in the muscles softening.  Letting go of pain. Tendons softening. Flesh softening. Skin softening.

Allowing sensation to float in soft flesh.

Softening.
Letting go all around sensation.
In soft body, in soft mind, just letting it be there.
Meeting the moment-to-moment sensations that arise there with moment-to.rnoment softening.
Softening the bone.
Softening to the very marrow.
Any tension that momentarily asserts itself allowed to float free.
Let it come. Let it go.
Moment-to-moment sensation arising in soft awareness.
Softness spreading all about sensation.
Gently, without force, gradually opening the tissue to let sensation float.
Letting go all around.
Softening to the very center of the cells.
That softening to the very center of the cells of the muscles, of the tissue in which sensation floats.
Awareness cradling sensation in soft open space.
Sensations floating in awareness.
The skin, the tissue, the muscles, the tendons soft and pliant.
Spacious.
Bone soft, allowing, willing.
Sensations arising like bubbles into space.
Space floating in space.
Awareness meeting moment-to-moment sensation with merciful softness.
Moment-to-moment sensation rising, floating in awareness.
Awareness receiving the subtlest flutter, the subtlest motion of sensation.
Softly. Clearly.
Awareness entering to the very heart of sensation.
Awareness exploring sensation floating in space.

Do the sensations stay still or do they move?
Does the area of sensation have a single shape or is it constantly changing?
What is that shape?
Moment-to-moment sensation floating in soft merciful awareness that explores tenderly the moment.
Do these sensations have density?
Are they thin or thick?
Are they round? Are they flat?
Moment-to-moment sensation received in moment-to-moment awareness.
Discovering the nature of sensation.
Do these sensations have a texture?
Are they rough? Are they smooth?
Do they stay the same or are they constantly changing?
Sensations floating in awareness.
Softening all about sensation Flesh soft muscles relaxed, open, tissue allowing and merciful.

Notice whatever thoughts arise that might limit this softness.
Are there feelings that harden the area? Fear or doubt?
Do the sensations whisper words like tumor or cancer or pain? Do

they cause tension around sensation?
Allowing levels and levels of softening to deepen all about sensation, explore the moment as it is.
And let such thoughts, such feelings too, float in a vast boundless awareness.
Soft awareness meeting sensation as it is moment to moment.
Attend to even the least tension in the mind that tenses the body and soften all about it.
Deeper and deeper softening.
Noticing how even the least thought might limit softness softness, soften yet deeper.
Investigating the moment as sensation.

Did these sensations move, or did they stay in one area?

Are there tendrils that connect this area with other areas of sensation in the body?
Moment-to-moment awareness.
Moment-to-moment sensation.
Moment-to-moment softening, allowing, receiving.
Sensation arising and dissolving in vast space.
Are the sensations soft or hard?
Are they hot or cold? Or neither?
Is there a feeling of pressure? A vibration? A movement?
Soft awareness opening into a vast spaciousness which allows sensation to unfold moment to moment in the clear light of mercy and awareness.
Meeting sensation as it arises instant to instant.
Is there a sound there? Do these sensations have a voice?
Is the voice familiar? What does it have to say?
Noticing softly, caringly, these sensations that may have gone so long unattended to. Meet them with a soft allowing awareness.
Sensations arising and dissolving in a spacious merciful awareness.
Relating to this area, to sensation, as if it were your only child.
Meeting them with love. With kindness. With mercy.
Sensations floating in a soft open awareness met with mercy and caring.

Does some image arise there?
Is there color there?
Just noticing whatever is there, nothing to create.
Just receiving sensation in loving kindness and care.
Touching it with mercy. Touching it with forgiveness.
Is there a feeling there, an attitude that seems to surround that area?
Noticing any old-mind residue that holds even in the least to these sensations, just let them go, let them float in the new moment-to-moment spaciousness of awareness and kindness and care.

Gently allowing awareness to cradle each moment of sensation.

Each sensation absorbed in loving kindness and mercy.
Allow love to enter sensation, floating in the softness, in the spacious heart of being all about this area.
Floating in compassion.
Floating in mercy.
Let the healing in.
Let your heart touch sensation moment to moment.

Let this area become the heart we all share.
Let the mercy you feel for so much in the world touch your pain as well.
Each moment of sensation received so gently. Moment-to-moment sensation arising and dissolving in the vast spaciousness of a merciful awareness.
Each moment of sensation dissolving in compassion for all those in pain.
Each moment dissolving, dissolving in mercy and loving kindness.
Each moment melting into infinite compassion and kindness.
Sharing this healing with all sentient beings.
Melting the discomforts of the world in tender mercy.
Meeting these sensations with kindness, forgiveness, and compassion. Meeting the world we all share in healing awareness.
Each moment floating.
Moment-to-moment sensation arising and dissolving in the boundaryless luminescence of awareness.
Love healing the discomforts of the world.
The despair and helplessness of all the worlds met by the loving kindness that receives sensation in the heart of awareness.
This healing healing all.
Sending mercy and loving kindness in the the body we all share.
Each moment of sensation absorbed in infinite compassion and care.
Each moment dissolving into the heart of healing.